"One boot to rule them all, and in the dark, bind them. My feet that is. Painfully."

Let me state for the record, I absolutely did not spend £625 on a pair of goddamn boots. I got these at the Crockett & Jones factory in Northampton where they also sell their seconds—shoes that aren't deemed 100% perfect and are sold at a big discount. I think I got these for £250, which is still insane, but the defect in this pair was an almost imperceptible scratch on the toebox. Whenever I visit my parents in the Northamptonshire countryside, I grit my teeth to resist the urge to wander ...

"Black on black on slate-black"

£99 Casio Store, Carnaby Street, London The latest in the lineup of the almost-indestructible G-shock range is the ruggedly handsome GA-2100, dubbed as the 'CasiOak' by watch aficionados due to its resemblance to the Audemars Piguet Royal Oak. And unlike the AP Royal Oak, you can launch this at the wall with tremendous power and the watch would be fine (anyone who'd like to challenge this with their own AP, let me know how that goes). For those of you who're unaware of Casio G-Shocks, you can...

Primark – Men's fluffy slippers £4 Available in all Primark shops, probably Have you ever wanted to pad around your house with cats fastened to your feet but you’re too slow to catch those bastards? Well fret no more as for around a 10th the price of a catch alive cat trap, you can buy these Primark fluffy slippers – slippers that are designed for two things only: to keep your feet warm at home by being your indoor shoes, and to be completely forgettable when they’re on. These slippers get t...