Sainsbury’s Tuna & Sweetcorn Pasta

A Review in Cuisine - 01/08/2014

Sainsbury’s Tuna & Sweetcorn Pasta
£2.00
Sainsbury's
 

I purchased this to lunch on during my break from work. Aesthetically, it looks as if it was cobbled together during an airstrike, while a prize fighter who’s too tired to try ham-fistedly punches the stickers on. Not a pleasing nor enticing look, at all.

I chose this as a safe bet; I like tuna, I like pasta, I’m partial to sweetcorn. So all together, this should had been a fun time.

It was not a fun time.

My guesses are that the wheat in the pasta was made from the crushed and powdered dreams of deported refugees – each and every mouthful was a sorrowful experience, laced with a heavy heart. I’m also guessing that the tuna was most probably fished from the Sea of Grief, judging by the tough and sad way it tasted.
The sweetcorn however were little pockets of difference. I choose not to use the word taste, but indeed they were different. A small explosion of bitterness, like remnants of an unfixable argument.

I could only stomach around a quarter of this cup of this sombre sludge; the plastic receptacle probably would have had more nutrients and have had tasted better. After an hour had passed, I still had the rubbery taste lingering in my mouth as if my tongue was a particularly awesome corner for Tokyo street racers to drift on.

The whole experience made me very sad indeed.
1

The plastic receptacle probably would have had more nutrients and have had tasted better.