Mug Shot

A Review in Cuisine - 05/11/2015

Mug Shot by Symington's
All supermarkets, probably

After my awful time with Pot Noodle, I thought it not fair to tar every instant noodle dish with the same disgusting brush. So during a trip to my local Tesco’s, this particular Mug Shot burned deep into my retina with it’s orange packaging, surrounding itself in a haze sent from the gods above.

Once home and using your standard modern cooking tools – a kettle – I ripped open the packet and was immediately punched in the face with the sour and stinking fist of something that smelled as if it should be covered in saw dust.

After seeding my own mind that it could just be powdered puke, that seed soon grew into a forest of aching regret. Hell, even if I hadn’t thought of that idea before tasting it, I would’ve discovered it as soon as the flavours of mouldy wood, decaying flesh, and aged bile had swarmed my taste buds.

I managed half a mouthful before releasing to the need to destroy the meal and the mug it festered in. Yes, it’s only 60p, but crawl around the streets on London on any given weekend and you can find the same taste-killing experience usually coating the corner of a dark alleyway or a nightclub toilet bowl for free.

It's like rehydrated powdered vomit, but not as nice